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“A small prickle ran through Victor when he spotted her, the voyeuristic thrill of seeing someone before they see you, of being able to simply watch. But the moment ended when Eli saw her, too, and caught her gaze without a word. They were like magnets, thought Victor, each with their own pull.”
Prior to becoming an EO, Victor feels as though he lives in Eli’s shadow, both because Eli overtook him as first in their class and because Eli and Angie got together after Victor introduced them. This passage shows Victor’s vulnerability and his frustration with how easily Eli and Angie come together.
“The moments that define lives aren’t always obvious. They don’t always scream LEDGE, and nine times out of ten there’s no rope to duck under, no line to cross, no blood pact, no official letter on fancy paper. […] Between one sip and the next, Victor made the biggest mistake of his life, and it was made of nothing more than one line. Three small words. ‘I’ll go first.’”
Victor decides to attempt becoming an EO. Through the narration, Schwab explores the idea that people are not always aware of big moments when they are happening. In hindsight, these moments may become obvious, but by then, it’s too late to do anything to change them. This specific moment is the biggest mistake of Victor’s life because it triggers his time in prison, Eli’s becoming a murderer, and his all-consuming vendetta.
“He shouldn’t have washed the amphetamines down with whiskey, shouldn’t have done anything to dull the nerves and senses, to ease the process, but he’d been nervous...afraid. Now he was going numb, and that scared him more than pain because it meant he might just...fade.”
These lines of Victor’s thoughts come during his overdose attempt at becoming an EO. Trying to dull his fear with alcohol shows he isn’t committed to death yet. His fear of numbness more than pain foreshadows how he becomes an EO (through pain). It is also ironic because once he has his power, he often dulls his pain until he can feel nothing.
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By V. E. Schwab