This Way for the Gas, Ladies and Gentlemen

Tadek is thrilled that he has been chosen as one of ten Birkenau inmates to be trained as a doctor in the Auschwitz hospital to treat his fellow prisoners and “lower the camp’s mortality rate” (98). After Tadek is assigned to a new living space within the hospital, he looks for someone to send a letter for him to his girlfriend. However, in Auschwitz, there is a hierarchy based on who has been there the longest and whose serial numbers are the lowest, so Tadek has no clout because his number is over 1 million.

Tadek believes that Auschwitz is nicer than Birkenau, claiming that the inmates there are proud to call the camp their home. Tadek describes the horrors of the camp as if they are idealistic, complimenting the sculpture that reminds inmates that they are always being watched and monitored, the sturdy guard towers, and the solid fence. He remarks offhand about the holding cells for girls who are used as “experimental guinea pigs” (102). Tadek tells his girlfriend that he has a hard time remembering her face or imagining her in a camp with her head shaved, but that he pretends that these letters are like the conversations they used to have, which is why the tone is so optimistic and positive. He claims that the camp was much worse in the early days, which is why the inmates are so happy there now. Tadek expresses jealousy of those with low serial numbers, exclaiming, “What a pity we did not get here a little sooner!” (104). A haunted-looking man with the enviably low serial number of 27,000 tells Tadek that the people at Auschwitz are afraid of Birkenau.

As Tadek waits for his medical training to begin, he explores the camp with two of his fellow future trainees, Witek and Staszek. They visit the educational center, where there is a symphony that performs every week, a library (which is forbidden to inmates), and a museum consisting of photos that were removed from inmates’ letters. The most popular place in the building is called the Puff, which is a brothel. Bigwigs and camp personnel are given passes to visit the girls, as are prisoners who are being rewarded. Tadek romanticizes the transactions, calling the girls Juliets and the many men Romeos.

Men frequently break into block number 10 to have sex with the girls who are enduring medical experiments. Tadek cheerfully describes the leader of the medical experiments, presumably Dr. Josef Mengele, as “a man with the face of a kindly satyr” (108) who is undoubtedly annoyed that his experiments in artificial insemination are disrupted by so much natural insemination. Tadek insists that this amorous behavior by the men occurs in all of the camps. Changing the subject, Tadek tells his girlfriend that he is in a hospital room surrounded by sick people and thinking about her and the street they once lived on. He describes how he lusted after her, and marveled that she loved him when he had so little to offer her. Tadek asserts that love is “the most important thing on earth, and the most lasting” (110).

On a Sunday, Tadek and his friends walk around the camp. They meet two newcomers who are terrified. Tadek and his friends smile cheerfully as they will be set free soon (unless they are found guilty and sent to the crematorium). Tadek has become accustomed to suffering and life at the camp. Tadek’s tone becomes less cheerful. Although people outside of the camp are aware of the poor conditions, the cultural events give the illusion of quality that allows them to look away from the starvation, backbreaking labor, and death.

In medical training, Tadek and Witek prefer to play rather than study seriously. During one lesson, Witek shows Tadek a photo of his wife and describes how he won her over when he killed an S.S. dog that was about to attack her. When Witek was arrested, he became a favorite of a brutal guard who tortured inmates in a variety of ways. Witek believes that the creativity of the guard’s torture tactics, and the pleasure he took in them, is beyond comprehension and unevolved. Witek infiltrated this brutal, unevolved system of violence to end it.

Tadek writes to his girlfriend about his happiness over three occurrences. First, a man named Kurt connected Tadek with a man who was willing to carry his letters and her responses, refusing any kind of payment. Second, there was a wedding of two camp inmates, a Spanish man and the French woman he impregnated, that was permitted by Hitler himself. Third, Tadek’s medical training ended with heartfelt goodbyes from the doctors who taught them. Additionally, Tadek finally received letters from home after two months, one from Staszek and the other from his brother. Staszek’s letter is terse, wishing Tadek well and informing him that two of their peers were shot. His brother’s is longer and more affectionate, passing on prayers from Tadek’s girlfriend’s mother.

Tadek describes how he was arrested. When his girlfriend didn't call as promised, Tadek went to her apartment where the police were waiting for him. He tells her that she is not responsible and that he dreams about his future with her. Tadek finds someone to deliver his letter. As the weather grows colder, life in the camp is as miserable and unchanging as ever. Tadek sees Abbie, an old friend from his Kommando who has been assigned to the crematorium, a duty that is much less labor-intensive than many other jobs. Abbie tells Tadek that he has discovered a more efficient way to incinerate bodies by placing four children together and lighting their hair on fire. Tadek is appalled and Abbie laughs, “Listen, doctor, here in Auschwitz we must entertain ourselves in every way we can. Otherwise who could stand it?” (142). As Abbie walks away, Tadek reflects, “But this is a monstrous lie, a grotesque lie, like the whole camp, like the whole world” (142).