The War for Kindness: Building Empathy in a Fractured World

While Zaki meticulously documents obstacles to empathy, he remains hopeful that humans will still be able to build a kinder world. The reason for this is that plenty of people are already doing so. These individuals are helping shift the balance from isolation and violence to empathy. For every obstacle that Zaki introduces, he provides a strategy to help overcome it.

There are proven strategies that help reduce hate. One such example is contact theory, which holds that bringing insiders and outsiders together will “awaken their common humanity” (61). However, contact alone is not always enough to increase empathy for outsiders. Contact programs need to focus on balance rather than equality. Neuroscientist Emile Bruneau once paired white US citizens and Mexican immigrants in a study; one individual wrote an essay on the hardships faced by their group, and the other responded with their own reflections. Both individuals would then discuss how they felt about the other ethnic group. Bruneau found that white Americans “felt better about Mexican immigrants” (67) when they were the responder. In contrast, Mexican immigrants “felt worse about white Americans after listening to the complaints of this richer, more powerful group. They felt better about whites after playing the role of the sender” (67-68). This study shows the importance of reversing current power structures in contact programs.

Greater empathy can also occur when people change how they view themselves. Characters in fictional stories often give readers the lens to do this (89). An especially powerful example is the Changing Lives Through Literature program, which offers its students a book club as an alternative probation sentence. Through fictional characters, these students gain “a sense of possibility” (89) of what their future could be. Students who participate in Changing Lives are less likely to reoffend than peers who do not.

Another example is the radio show Musekeweya (or New Dawn). The main couple on New Dawn, who were from rival ethnic groups, eventually marry. The wedding was filmed at a venue where Tutsis took refuge during the Rwandan genocide. The symbolism was incredibly powerful for real-life Rwandans. A place that once symbolized horror came to symbolize celebration. During the community justice (gacaca) trials, victims often talked about their horrific experiences using character names from New Dawn. The show gave victims “a language to talk about the violence…and people’s roles in that violence, without having to directly accuse” (86). The show helped the Hutu and Tutsi people reconsider each other, providing collective healing.

To combat burnout among healthcare workers, John Hopkin’s created the Resilience in Stressful Events (RISE) program, a “hospital-wide peer-to-peer empathy network” (109). Healthcare workers can call RISE counselors after a traumatic event and talk to them about it. The counselors listen without passing judgement, sometimes recommending additional resources. RISE is especially successful at helping combat burnout. Studies show that nurses who used the program were less likely to leave their job or take days off than peers who did not. The RISE program is starting to spread to other hospitals in the US and around the world.

Teachers can also create more empathetic classrooms by “creat[ing] ecosystems in which kindness is expected and rewarded” (143). To do this, teachers and those in power must take responsibility for the environment they create. If teachers bring racism into the classroom, they will create a hostile, unwelcoming environment. Training created by researcher Jason Okonofua helps teachers see this perspective, enabling them to better empathize with their students. When teachers have greater empathy for their students, the latter, in turn, will have more empathy for them. This allows for the construction of a kinder ecosystem.

All of these examples highlight a key element of Zaki’s argument: one cannot “throw the kitchen sink” (66) at empathy. There is no single solution that will allow humans to build a kinder world. Instead, strategies must be tailored to fit each situation. To do so effectively, researchers and scientists need to incorporate the perspectives of those in specific situations.