Promises I Can Keep: Why Poor Women Put Motherhood Before Marriage

Many of the study’s subjects view marriage as more of a risk than being unwed with children. Less than one out of six couples who are unwed at the birth of their child go on to marry. Many of the women interviewed by Edin and Kefalas believed marriage should come after completing one’s education, between the ages of 30 and 40, while childbearing should come earlier in a woman’s life. Marriage, they suggest, is a serious responsibility that should occur after young people have some life experience. They also believe that couples who marry should be financially established and able “to sustain a respectable lifestyle” (111). These women refuse to depend on the men in their lives for financial support. They seek economic independence before they are willing to enter marriage so that if the relationship goes awry, they remain financially secure: “These women believe that getting married to a man and living off of his earnings practically ensures an imbalance of power they’ll find intolerable” (113). Most of the participants voiced strong opposition to divorce and believed that marriage is risky. Participants expect male partners to also be financially established before marriage. Women report that acceptable partners must be employed in jobs that bring decent wages.