Left Neglected

Sarah and Helen are in the Welmont Toy Shop with Linus, waiting for Lucy’s dance class to finish. Linus is obsessed with the Thomas train table and Sarah dreads when they will have to leave the store.

Helen says they should go so she can pick up her prescription. Sarah tells her that she and Linus will wait there, assuring Helen that they will be fine.

Sarah browses the toys, then sees that Linus is not at the train table. Sarah frantically searches, but he is not anywhere in the store. Sarah heads outside, scanning the road, unable to breathe.

Helen calls out to Sarah. Sarah cannot see her mother, then turns to her left and sees her coming down the sidewalk with Linus on her hip. Helen says that as she came out of the pharmacy, she saw Linus about to wander into the road. Sarah bursts into tears, overcome with what might have happened.

Later that night, Sarah gets out of bed and goes into Linus’s room. She watches him sleep. Sarah thanks God for keeping Linus safe, then goes to the sunroom.

Sarah finds Helen crying in her bed. She tells Sarah that her heart could not have taken it if anything happened to Linus. Sarah realizes that the incident was not just about Linus for her mother.

Helen cries harder and tells Sarah she is sorry she was not there for her for so many years. Sarah hugs her and says that she forgives her. She thanks her mother for being there now.

Heidi finally opens the bottle of wine she gave Sarah on her last day at Baldwin. She watches Sarah walk back to her living room, complimenting her on the improvement in her walk. Sarah is surprised, since she had not noticed.

Heidi toasts to Sarah’s continued recovery, and Sarah thinks that Heidi seems to be the only health professional who still thinks it possible for her to recover further.

Sarah asks Heidi how things are going at Baldwin. Heidi replies that they have a new patient with Left Neglect, who refuses to believe that she has the condition. Sarah understands this feeling, since she herself sometimes forgets, though not out of an unconscious unawareness, as in the beginning. She feels healthy, like there is nothing wrong with her.

Heidi compliments Sarah’s house and asks about the director of development job with NEHSA. She agrees with Sarah that it sounds perfect. Sarah says that she wants to accept, but Bob needs to feel confident that he can find a job in Vermont.

Sarah tells Heidi that her mother loves Vermont as well and that Mike’s niece could nanny for them during the summer. Heidi comments that all the details seem lined up, except for Bob.

It is the last weekend in March and Sarah is enjoying the Forever Winter Festival in Cortland with Bob, Charlie, and Lucy. Helen and Linus are at the house. Sarah feels tired, so Bob drives her back.

As they drive, Bob teases Sarah about different jobs he could do in Vermont, like being an ice cream man. Sarah is glad that he is at least entertaining the idea of looking there.

Sarah walks into the house and hears a whistling sound. Helen is asleep on the couch and Linus must be upstairs in his room. Sarah checks to see if the whistling is coming from a toy but does not see anything.

Sarah goes into the kitchen, but does not see anything amiss. Then she remembers to scan left and sees that the tea kettle is whistling on the stove, with her mother’s mug and tea bag next to it. Sarah gets a bad feeling in her stomach and turns the burner off.

In the quiet of the living room, Sarah knows that her mother is not really sleeping.

Sarah narrates this chapter. The family sold their Welmont house and moved to Vermont in June. Sarah went to her mother’s house on Cape Cod, thinking of all the plans she had had about going to visit her mother there.

Bob found a job he loves at a young company that develops plans for converting clients to renewable energy sources. He has a traffic-free commute.

Sarah and Bob love the children’s new school, which has a snowboarding team. Charlie’s special education teachers are excellent and Lucy has made new friends.

Sarah loves her new job, the people, the hours, and the work itself. She has not cried once and believes that she never will. She loves having time to play with her children in the afternoons, to help with homework, to attend soccer games, to have dinner with her family every evening.

Sarah still misses her old life in many ways. She misses her job and conquering the challenges of her impossible days. She does not miss the stress. Sarah does miss Heidi and misses the independence of driving. She misses being able to do simple tasks easily. Most of all, she misses her mother.

Now it is November. Bob and Sarah are having dinner to celebrate the anniversary of her surviving her accident. Bob gives her a new charm for her bracelet, a silver hat to remind her of her mother. They toast to a full life, Sarah’s glass in her left hand.

Sarah dreams of being on the ski lift, her mother beside her. Her mother does not wear ski clothes, but she is there to enjoy the ride with Sarah.

The end of the lift approaches and Helen reminds Sarah to look left. Sarah sees her father and Nate there. She asks where they came from and her father replies that they have been there the whole time.

Sarah slides down the ramp and her parents and Nate board another lift. She watches them ascend. She turns her head to the left and Bob is there, with their children. They were all waiting for her. Sliding down the hill, Sarah feels whole.